Keesville Detective

Oh I’m the famous sleuth of Keeseville town

I’m also its mayor, police, and clown

My name is Homelock Shears

I’ll drive away your fears

I’ll solve your mysteries for two bits dow-own

For I’m the staunch defender of the law,

The best detective Essex county ever saw

I’m full of surprises

My wardrobe comprises of the queerest disguises

Haw-hee haw.