NewPokoMacTimes1

Willsboro, NY

Volume X

July 5, 2008

RULE BRITANNIA

Royal Forces Deny Colonies of their Freedom

 

 

 

RevBW1

Yorktown, Virginia Colony, Great Britain, July 4, 1776-- A mad late rush by the undermanned troops of the United Colonies proved to not be quite enough, as the British forces captured a large early lead and held on to win the 233rd edition of the Revolutionary War.

   “It was exciting because the cities kept changing back and forth,” exclaimed soldier Annika Mele. Indeed, that was the case, but each of the three battles ended up a landslide; the end result being that Britain stills rules the “new world”, and the colonists will still have to pay taxes on tea and stamps, as well as abide by the Townsend Act, whatever that is.

RevBW2

“The best ten minutes of war ever staged”

   2008 marked the first time that each of the battles ended in a shutout, meaning that one side had captured all eight Rev14cities. In each of the first two battles, the shutout victory went to England. “The British won because of good ambush tactics and better raids,” analyzed soldiers Kayla Murphy and Olivia Calabretta. Game three featured “The best ten minutes of war ever staged at Pok-O-MacCready”, stated one correspondent. “The last round was the most intense,” voiced Jacob Fields. “There were flour hawks everywhere! “The Colonies captured the eighth and final city with but seconds remaining in the contests. Yet, when the final points were tabulated, the English domination in the opening battles were enough to secure the win.

   In reflecting what she most remembered from the war, Marina Wandrich stated, “You get trampled a lot!” In London, King George III celebrated the win with a 19 course dinner, while here in Yorktown, George Washington was disappointed, but said, “at least now I don’t have to accept the Presidency, and we can continue to play soccer instead of inventing baseball.”

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POST BATTLE

  Following the War, the troops got together for an evening dance that featured intricate steps and dance maneuvers.

Oh, wait, these aren’t photos from the dance. These are from the War!

   Pics from the dance appear below, while many more images from the Revolutionary War can be found in our latest GALLERY.

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RevPeace

 

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RevSport2

PEACE PROTEST (Left)- A party of one descended upon the war, urging peace and stating that “socks filled with flour do not constitute weapons of mass destruction.” GOOD SPORTS (Above)- Caitlin Livsey, CO-director of the Rev. War cited “great sportsmanship from everyone. Once, I saw two kids hit each other with flour hawks at the same time; both went to jail without complaint.”

PIRATES OF LONG POND?RevPirates

   One major reason that the colonies lost the Revolutionary War was that in each of the first two battles of this two sided war, they came in THIRD. 

   A band of unaffiliated renegade buccaneers managed to score more points then the United Colonies.

   In an informal poll held after the war, seven out of ten campers believed (correctly) that pirates had no impact on the real Revolutionary War. “But,” one camper added, “it’s always fun to have pirates anyway.”

   Pok-O-MacCready’s 104th annual Pirate Party is scheduled for August 9th.

Dance1

Fourth of July Party

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Dance3

   As was written previously, once the war was over, the British and Americans put their differences aside and celebrated with a dance at Robinson Hall.

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